You Know Your A Basshead If....
(as originally posted on 1-18-02 by Meph on www.Termpro.com)
-at the slightest sound of bass you run to try and find out where its coming from.
-you spend more time looking at pictures of subs than you do porn =)
-you are saving change because someday you'll be able to buy an amp with it.
-you buy a perfectly good van/car/suv only to turn it into a 2seater.
-your system weighs almost as much as your car
-you play your system in the driveway and run inside to see whats falling off the walls.
-you have 6 or more subs laying around that are not in use, nor will ever see power.
-when people talk it sounds like charley brown "wuh wuh wuh"
-you laugh when your mirrors fall off
-you laugh when people say "i can't breath in this thing! turn it down!"
-you find it interesting how bass can make your eyes roll around in your head.
-"what" is the most used word in your vocabulary
-you've plugged 4 or more perfectly good subs into the wall because its loud.. hehe
-you've attemped to sell anything and everything you own to buy more equipment.
-you'd rather buy a cheaper car, so you'll hvae more money for a system.
-have 1/0 or bigger wire in your car AND have a use for it.
-ever considered buying huge quantities of subs just to see what it might do.
-lowered a car with concrete
-Extreme class....says enough.
-wanted to see if you could fit a whale in your trunk for those low lows.
-your full attention is given to passing trains because of the bass they produce
-same applies to helicopters
-you go through bass withdrawls
-you beg friends w/ systems to drive b/c you can't afford one. lol. (common angst!!)
-you have a dedicated "system fund"
-When you are willing to sacrifice hundreds of dollars worth of equipment by maxxing
everything out to get yourself an extra 1/10th of a dB to take home a first place trophy.
-When you think the smell of voice coils burning up is cool.
-If you've actually been pissed off at yourself for days for cutting your box .05^ft3 smaller than what you wanted it at.
-If you have a large ported box with a large port.
-If you insist on using 8 gauge power wire or 10 gauge speaker wire for your subs.
-If you think that the only mirror you actually need to see out of is your drivers side.
-If you've ever tossed out a spare tire to glass the tire well for extra airspace.
-You think the biggest rivalry since the Crips and Bloods is SQ guys and SPL guys.
-You have a "cop switch" on your amps.
-You would miss your wifes b-day to drive 200 miles to an SPL competition.
-You know who Alma Gates is, and not just heard of her.
-You could give a crap how your SQ is.
-when you think people driving by at 2am bumping is soothing to your sleep
-when you listen to bass songs with headphones on your computer
-when you attempt to build an abc box =)
-when you start doing school papers on "what bass is", "sound ordinances", and "did you hear a boom?"
-if you've ever wondered if it were possible to turn the SETI dish into a subwoofer
-you try to find the resonant frequency of earth, and try to shake it =)
-1 in 2 stories you tell consists in some way of car audio
-you have a huge ported box sitting in your garage tuned to 60hz, for special occasions
-you have a huge ported box sitting in your car tuned to 33hz, for "special" occasions
-you have more subwoofers than fingers
-anything less than 1kwatt per sub is "funny" or "pointless"
-your daily driver exceeds 150db with music
-you've ever farted in the sub opening of a box and wondered if it could be tuned. (lol. yes it does work)
-you enjoy the smell of silicone or resin
-you can strip 1/0 wire with your teeth
-you've driven past your own house 3 times because this new song's "got bass!"
-you've ever been up past 3am putting a system together (yes this includes testing. lol)
-your cars carpeting looks like swiss cheese
-you have enough wire sitting in boxes to install 3more systems
-you have more than 3 spl comp shirts
-you know how to recone subs, and do this to your own regularly =)
-your system budget exceeds your annual income
-you've given your 2yr old child a 15" 50lb sub for xmas
-you've ever tried to combine the baskets and magnets of 2 subs to make one better one.
-you have 3sets of test tones on computer and/or on cd
-you think "feel the bass" and "40cycles" are actual music.
-If you spend more time at the local stereo shop than you do at work.
-If you put off studying for finals to build a new enclosure.
-If you think hearing aids are going to be an excellent investment in 5-10 years.
-You complain because 145dB with one 12 isn't enough.
-You drive to a parklot, park towards the back and beat the hell outta your system, just for the hell of it.
-You've had the cops called to house more than twice in one week.
-You get pissed because none of your friends understand your obsession.
-If you've told a cop: "I didn't have my system turned up ENOUGH to be heard from
100ft"....by the way, it didn't work
-You've blown every home audio subwoofer you have by putting it in your car to see how loud it is.
-If you've found an old box makes a nice coffee table.
-Your new box design bothers you more than anything else.
"Car Audio, my Anti-Drug"...lol, we're to broke to buy drugs.
-You constanly get girls to get on your trunk to see if they can get off.
-you've tried to make pop cans explode using just bass
-your eyes know how to adjust to blurred mirror vision
-you are so used to breathing in a 150db environment that you have a hard time breathing outside your car.
-you went out and tried the baloon trick 30seconds after you read the post.
-you want to grow a mullet just so your hair can get fluffed by the "Beast"
-you spend more time on termpro than you do at work.. (uhoh)
-you go to best buy just because you don't have to pay to abuse that equipment
-you go to best buy just to mess with the heads of the really smart people that work there. (note my sarcasm)
-you want to make earmuffs shaped like subs.
-you've ever turned an entire room in your house into an enclosure
-you have a need for wide angle mirrors =)
-you spend as much time as i do thinking of stupid things like this
-you wake up in the middle of the night with ideas of an enclosure
-your child's middle name is Vega or something car audio related
-as a child you took apart your parents home audio speakers. (so they had to replace a few sets since i was 8)
-your system weighs more than your car
-when "the usual" at home depot is ten sheets of MDF
-when you buy 7/64" drill bits by the dozen and liquid nails by the gallon
-you own/drive a mini-van and you dont have kids
-you keep earmuffs and earplugs inside your glove compartment
-your cars electrical system can start a bus or tractor
-the only math you use is how to figure out impedances and box/port dimensions
-your post count on termpro is way higher than you know it should be
-You have an autographed picture of Wayne Harris in your wallet.
-You turn up your system and walk away from your vehicle just to see how loud it really is!
-People pull over for you at night because your headlights flash like a patrol car.
-Noise ordinance violations are a weekend ritual.
-You have a front row seat at db Drag Racing.
-Your EQ setting looks like a flock of geese.
-First name Alma ...Last name Gates!
-Your dream car is an astro Van!
-Alternator whine ... who cares!!
-u stick ur head into a slot port at full blast just to wind up pulling ur head out and saying "CoOOooOL!!!" and it doesnt phase u
-u dont care how bad ur car rattles (maybe cuz u cant hear it on the inside :-)
-u buy power wire in spools
-uve blown more subs then miles u have on ur 20 year old van
-rms means the "minum power handleing"
-u have actually felt a sub smack u in the head at 20mm of xmax
-instead of buying oil for ur cars oil change u buy something like rca wires or carpeting just cuz u have the money
-u have blown more fuses then u could count
-u have dreams about 6 beasts in a giant 60 cubic foot wall (droooooool!)
- u have actually "borrowed" subs then blowwn them oooops!
-You can knock stuff off of shelves with 1 sub
-You can blow a house circuit with 1 amp & 1 sub
-Bands ask to use your truck for the PA system
-*Tape measure in hand* "That is too 80%"
-4 + 4 = 2; 2 + 2 = 1; 1 + 1 = HCCA
-Earthquake does not = a natural disaster, but a desired product
-Audio sales people let you inform the other customers of what a product can/can't do
-You are not referring to constellations when you mention Orion or Vega
-You bounce your bosses coffee mug off her desk with 80s music (that was cool, she was in a meeting - we won the bid....he wanted loud)
-You try to figure out how to fit the cluster in your truck
-"Hrm....Do you think the theatre will miss the EVs and Crowns?"
-You twist and turn your home speakers into every corner & configuration to get 1 extra dB of bass
-You reference dB Drag, USAC, Termpro, Mr. Harris, & Ms. Gates in conversations at audio shops
-You see a truck bed & cap combination and start to get an evil grin
-Your sig-other has put a time limit on your "visits" to the local stereo shops, BB, CC or anywhere else that has bass
-You suffer from whiplash - not from an accident, but from trying to find that bumpin' car
-You've read this thread
-"10s WILL FIT IN MY DOORS?! *evil grin*"
-You can fix a torn cone, surround, dust cap, etc. on the fly
-You've lost the feeling in your fingers from splicing wire
-You've thought about using/use distribution blocks for your speaker set-ups
-You're not sure if 18s refer to the wheels or the subs
-You refer to batteries as Red, Yellow, or Blue tops
-You think of subs (& Raven) before weapons or gum when you hear the term Bazooka
-you can install a headunit while driving to a comp
-you have custom license plates in reference to bass in some way
-your "battle scars" are in reference to battery burns, pieces of copper under the skin, electrical arc burns, and broken toes =)
-you gave up on fiberglass when you got more in your hair than on the enclosure, and in turn decided to build an mdf wall instead.
-you've ever given yourself a hernia or strained back while trying to lift your own creation.
-you've given up dating for a while becaused the saved money will buy more system parts.
-"screw hydrolics. i got 20hz"
-"what's that officer? i can't hear you! my car keeps making this awful noise! *BRRRAAP*"
-a chair or some household object makes a little bass upon movement, and you spend hours trying to replicate it.
-you have subs that you use just to abuse and laugh at
-instead of having less bass you just throw 200watts on your componants to try and "equal" things out
-mirrors and half your car has to be duct taped together due to excessive violent shaking.
-you must have a 10" or bigger speaker within 6' of you at all times.
-you leave fishing commercials on because "bass" keeps flashing on the screen
-your last wish is to have a 20hz salute held around the world.
-when speaking of gas milage you refer to gallons/mile instead of miles/gallon
-the only donations you make are towards scientists developing replacement ears. (they will exist! someday)
-you figure by the time you go completely deaf, you won't care what people say anyway.
-you've ever stuck your head between the window and dash to see if it gets louder, and kept it there because it does =)
-you consider milk crates pretty good seats
-your windows are more than 1" thick
-when you catch a half-second glimpse of speakers on a tv or movie and can name the
size/brand/model of the speakers. (meph: *cough*)
-when 1000watts thru a component set still gets drowned out..
-when you ride around on a hot summers day, trying to be all that - to a sine sweep..
-if you've said "i'm done.. i'm happy with my system" and a girl says "i like it" and you say "well.. i've got some more additions i want to throw on."
-before you buy a car, you don't ask to see under the hood. you ask to see the trunk.
-if you've ever ported out your rear-deck
-if you are out walking with your friends, and you hear a trunk "farting" and start laughing while your friends are talking about how "loud" that was.
-if you roll your windows down a bit when it's below 30 out just cuz it's LOUDER
-your car audio equipment is only costing you a minimum payment of 20.00 a month plus 19 percent interest for 50 years.
-if you've ever been street beatin, and have been followed by the guy behind you.
-if you've ever been pulled over and harassed for tint, and breaking the 100 ft law, but you aren't sure why they pulled you over.
-if you can justify your tint with "i have stuff to protect"
-if you drive a "feminine car" and your friends don't think so because of the system.
-"turn it down.. i have to burp and it'll hurt"
-you have no inhibitions about making bets with people because you know you can win a "who's louder" contest.
-"that spot of tar on my shoe is dynamat extreme"
-you've ever gotten diahrea due to 20minutes of 20hz at 140db
-you go to parties and don't think the music is loud, the distortion is.
-you know you should have beaten someone racing, but you looked in your trunk and know why you didn't.
-you've ridden in the back seat of car and ducked so you can pull the seat down.
-the sound of a rear view mirror rattling is an aquired taste
-you think its funny because you can rattle the FRONT quarter panals on your car.
-you have a head unit installed in a new car 5 minutes after you buy it.
-when all dynamat can do to help is weigh down your trunk lid.
-you tried to make a subwoofer into a steering wheel.
-your idea of "up front bass" is putting a dd9515 in kickpanals
-"who needs to be able to roll down your windows when you can fit a 12" sub in your door!"
-when you can't find a place to put subs because your trunk is full of amps
-when the accessories for your extra batteries could've made 6months car payments
-when your port is big enough for a 300lb man to roll around in.
-the first thing you take when your house is burning down is the 1000lbs worth of subs
-when enough air fluctuates in your vehicle to smoke a cigarette for you.
-you have to pause your system to get a clear view of street signs
-you've considered mounting jump seats inside your enclosure for chits and giggles
-you have an enclosure big enough to put jump seats in
-your hair stylist is named kove pluto
-when cupping your hands over your ears no longer stops the hurting
-when you say "COOL!! turn it up. i think my fillings are coming loose!"
-you've gotten a 2nd mortgage on your house to cover your system
-when banks sponsor you.
-you have more of one companies equipment than their own demo vehicle
-your idea of funny is waking up your best friends dad to "45 cycles.. BRRRRAAAAP"
-when you first realized that kenford makes a 4000watt calculator strapped to 20lbs of lead.
-you've sacrificed air conditioning to squeeze in an extra alternator.
-when you have more wiring than you can lift.
-you've sacrificed more than one sub to the car audio gods.
-When 6 15's weren't loud enough, so you bought 18 more.
-when you get into a friends car and he dosent have a system so u tap ur foot on the floor just to hear the lil "ummmph"
-when u go the the local car shop 3 times in 1 week to see if your system hase goten louder.
-when you have to go to the local hydro company to get new power and speaker wire.
-when you get your friends to stand outside and u drive off and get them to call you on your cell once they can no longer hear your system.
-When you ask your auto teacher at school to help you install 2 more alternators.
-when all you ask for christmas is gifts certificates for the local car shop.
-when you start to design abc boxes for your home system.
-when u have more that 4 amps taht arnt being used at all
-when you sit down and stare at your car thinking of things to remove to make your car lighter.
-you have pictures of big subwoofers on your wall instead of bikini posters
-you have at least a 12" sub hooked up to your computer speakers
-you have a seperate cd ablum dedicated only for bass cds
-you know what "DB" and "SPL" stand for
-you drive around in the winter with your windows down because it sounds louder
-you wish you could hook up your favorite class D sub amp to your component set
-you dont have or want a component set
-you try to gain weight because you think it will improve your score
-your answer to "what do you want to be when you grow up?" is "big oki"
-When you understand "Objects in mirror are more stable than they appear."
-When you no longer think of a podeum as a place to conduct a speech from
-When you ask for equal lengths of 8 guage power/ground cable and the shop manager says, "Twuz waiting to see how long it'd take for you to join the club..."
-Memphis is no longer a place, but desired equipment
-CA&E, AS&S, CSR are the only publications you read
-You see a pick-up and try to figure out how long it would take you to cut out the bed, cap, & window
-Your sig-other no longer asks
-your sig on termpro looks like a "free" banner porn site
-you attempt to host spl comps in your driveway.
-you succeed at hosting an spl comp in your driveway
-your seat is no longer adjustable and is locked as far forward and straight up as possible, due to the wall.
-you find yourself making movies about a subwoofer's excursion at 20hz with 3000watts
*coughOKIcough*
-Your favorite computer game is WINisd
-You never noticed that ebay had items not related to car audio
-You have a folder of subwoofer specs graphs, combinations, box sizes, designs and pictures that you look over in studyhall
-You have a Tuning program on your TI-83 calc and instead of working in class you try to figure out the many dimensions that will give you that PERFECT box
-You get into a vebal/physical fight about ohm loads
-the trunk rattles are no longer a concern because they match the rest of the car
-you can get a bass test stuck in your head all day and hum it continuously
-you refer to the time you have had your subs in some "Relationship" type terms and find it time to "Move on"
-you have nightmares not a dieing, but of having your stuff solen
-you have heard that ugly FLAP FLAP when you have too much power and how too low a tone
-You have friends over regularly because you alone can't lift the 4 foot wide 250 lb.
enclosures you make.
-It takes you months to install your system because you make 10+ enclosures to find that
perfect one.
-Your spare tire is sitting either in your garage or in your backseat.
-You can immediatly recognize a song by its basslines, but don't have a clue what the words are.
-You light matches and lighters in your car just to watch the bass blow them out.
-You have to install performance accessories on your vehicle just to get it to move.
-You buy a vehicle, and make as small of payments on it as possible, so you can get the system payed for and in as soon as possible.
-You make personal challenges with the staff of the local car audio shop.
-You purposely fiberglass in your house, because you want to come home to the smell of it.
-You buy the cheapest and fewest clothes that you can still respect yourself in, so there's more money for the system.
-You can't ever get your system fully installed because after you test something, you want to upgrade by the time your ready for the final touches.
-You have to turn your system down when you eat, because you can't swallow with it all the way up.
-You install an amp for components that is considered way overkill for powering subs by most people.
-you fail geometry but can sketch and find dimensions for a killer ported, bandpass, or abc box..
-everytime you hear sub inside of another word (subterrain, subarctic, subside) your ears stop hearing after the first 3 letters
-when you found out mountain dew's new energy drink was named amp you went out and bought the store's supply out..
-you have more old subs than the german navy (dontchya love that double meanin ****)
-when watching baseball and you hear line drive you immediately get into argument with
friends over whether audiocontrol or rw line drivers are better...
-when going to buy a television and you see some RCA model that immediately reminds you to get new patch cables...
-you checked the program code to winisd for errors to make sure you're realling getting
maximum possible dbs!!
-you had a friend sit on your trunk while you parking lot pimped so the trunk didn't rattle
-when your muscles get tight you lay on you trunk to shake your body out
-you start cussing because the producer for a song shoulda lowered the frequencies of the bass hits a few more hz
-YOU'VE EVER PROPOSED TO ALMA GATES!!
-You cried when she said no...
-You refer to Alma Gates as "Ma" more than you do your own mother...[sorry mother]
-you go tweak your friends system behind his back to get it to sound good
-you beat on tupperware containers in the kitchen to make bass
-you get acapella versions of your favorite non-bassy songs and program a new drum (bass) beat to them [hey it works sometimes!!]
-you immediately know the frequency of a ported box by hearing it from 50 feet away (whoa!)
-you traded in the family minivan for a CRX
-Your wife left you for that..
-Instead of child support you send your kids used equipment to sell...
-You've attempted to sue an organization because YOU JUST KNOW that their mics were off
-You listen to god awful music just for the bass
-you have a system in which you can replace the port area (containing the port) within 20 seconds from 33 hz to 45 hz to 25 hz, etc etc etc
-All your friends wanna hear their new cd IN YOUR CAR!
-When a new song comes out you immediately can tell who produced it, because of the bass lines
-you have bass on your bass boat...
-you have a bass boat (not the fish)
-you get called to the principal/dean thinking you're in trouble but he wants your advice on a system for his car
-you refuse to listen to music in a public place due to the poor bass reproduction
-you've ever left a club due to the poor bass reproduction...
-when the auto url complete on internet explorer fills in a car audio site starting with each of the 26 letters and 9 numbers...
-your favorites list has over 50 car audio sites (i'll count them later)
-you refuse to listen to non-heavy bass music
-you are on a first name basis with all of the local cops...
-you have never owned an amp you didn't modify to produce more power
-you send out "Merry Xmax" cards instead of Xmas cards...
-you remember Jesus was a carpenter and pray to him that he'll make you one niiiiiice miracle box...
-you laugh at people in the sound magazines hitting high 150s and say "heh, rookies"
-you've ever made people hit the ground when you burped the system going by a group of people
-your neighbors have sued you more than once due to noise pollution..
-you can't park your car in the garage cuz it has all of your projects in the way
-"that 220 amp alternator would be nice, as a matter of fact I'll need 3 sir"...
-You've made a 5 Hz test tone and proceeded to take it to Circuit City to test out the new subs
-you tried to sell your ears on ebay while they are still good
-you make triple copies of every cd due to the high rate of skipping. (wonder why? lol)
-you have more blown amps than functioning.
-your local shop keeps triples of everything you have because of your heavy warrenty use.
-your favorate ported enclosure is the one note wonder box
-you tried to convince your 75yr old grandma to put a system in her car.
-you restrain from having a social life becaues it saves money for the system
-your work boots are 3yrs old and have no sides or bottom, but your amp works =)
-you get an evil smirk when someone new rides in your car.
-you removed your A/C to add an alternator, but there's more than plenty of air movement to make up for it.
-you've attempted to submerge a sub in water because you were told that it gets louder.
-you've attempted to completely seal off your vehicle and fill it with a denser gas, because it gets louder =)
-you can't wait till the police get their sound weapons working so you can have bass wars!
-your desktop has a picture of some car audio product.
-your idea of a "wall" is when you have no subs, but the entire wall moves
-your idea of the perfect amount of amplification for any sub is 2 of the most powerful strappable amps PER coil.